dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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