It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
