We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize