"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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