Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
