Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he quoted the bible to break up with me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
