How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize