$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im holly from the hills drunk
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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