Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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