Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
