is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
