Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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