So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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