You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
