i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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