So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
