I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
