Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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