halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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