4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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