the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
