At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
