I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize