This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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