Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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