I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
