he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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