Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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