their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
