absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
