Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Randomize
