if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
