I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
