I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
