Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
