What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
