i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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