Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
