My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
