clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
