Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
