i think my tv is drunk
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
