quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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