you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize