i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
