he wants to bone in the snuggie
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
