I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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