idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
