i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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