You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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