the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
