I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
