stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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