belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
