They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
