ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
