can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
the liver wants what the liver wants
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
