eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
