Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
