Soap is not a condiment
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
