What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
