I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
