Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
