She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i drank out of a bidet.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
